|Photo credit: brookesb / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA|
I raise this thought because everyone's hair is different. Some people really do struggle with dealing with their hair. Oftentimes people (newly naturals included) who complain about this are told that they are not embracing their heritage among other things. Perhaps one problem is we place too much emphasis on judging others based on hair. Maybe we place too much emphasis on linking natural hair to our cultural pride or history of oppression. After all, I've heard white friends, and Asian friends complain about their hair. Hating the way it lays, the way it styles (or doesn't), the thickness, the oiliness, the length, the texture, etc. If they're entitled to accept that their can be difficult, then shouldn't black women? We all know kinky, curly hair isn't exclusive to black people either. The reality is it is a challenge to handle--because it requires unique care. There is nothing wrong with knowing or stating this. And occassionally resenting your hair doesn't have to mean resenting yourself.
Relaxer and MeI think I should reiterate I don't hate my natural texture. My priority was growing my hair long, styling it quickly and wearing it out as needed. As a natural my hair tangled something terrible when loose (it still tangles--but it's more manageable). Also, I hated spending hours just detangling my hair. I didn't have the time for it and once your hair reaches APL as mine had it becomes extremely time consuming to maintain it as a natural. Didn't help that I had to use more product at a time just to maintain the moisture content and style.
So I will say overall I don't regret relaxing but I love my natural hair and will certainly return to that in the future. That being said, I think [black] women should be allowed to do what is best for their hair. No one's hair is perfect. Nobody loves everything about their hair or body all the time. We should be confident about ourselves and proud of our roots. But I'm not sure being proud of your roots has to mean always accepting your actual "roots".